Thursday, 26 March 2015

This is the best post I've ever written

It's hard to believe, but I've been doing this blog thingy for almost four years.

That's four years of insightful observations and hard-hitting revelations and general fluffy blah.

When I first started, I really had no idea about what I was doing. Every week, I would think, "What on earth can I come up with to post on my blog?" I was scrounging for ideas out of thin air. It really was a challenge.

Luckily, I'm a quick learner. I began to get better at generating ideas for posts. I also began to get better at getting a sense of good topics to blog about. I could look at my hits each week, and that would help to give me an idea of which posts were effective and which ones weren't.

Which has led me to the position I'm in today. After lots of practice and experience, lots of trial and error, even occasional pain and heartbreak, I have a really grand announcement to make today.

I'm proud to announce that this is the best blog post I've ever written.

Sure, I've written some doozies in the past, but I don't think any of them come near the standard I've reached today. This post is like a fine wine. It's like a glorious summer day. It's like winning the lottery, three weeks running.

Did you see that? Not just one, or even two, but three similes. That's what makes this post so great. It's absolutely jam-packed with brilliant literary devices. It's not just a blog post. It's a first-class Rolls Royce of literary invention.

Was that just a metaphor that I put in? To be honest, I'm not completely sure, but I'm happy to claim it. After all, this post really is the apex, the highest peak of my blogging career.

Is there anything else I can add to this post? Have I truly reached the extremes of excellence I've been aiming for? Mmmm, maybe I should stop now. I'd hate to think I was diluting this wonderfulness by adding too much extraneous material.

Wow. I'm quite out of breath now. This blogging thing really can be exhausting. After all this excitement, I really hope I can keep the amazing, incredible high standard up in my follow-up posts.

After all, I'd hate to think I've hit my peak too early.


  1. I don’t think it’s a bad thing to say the words out loud: “I am good.” Or whatever. Clever. Funny. Smart. It makes it real. I can write. There was a time when it took effort to write but now give me a topic and I’ll happily rattle off a thousand words even if I know nothing about it. I’ll write about knowing nothing about it. And I’ll be witty about it and clever because I’m witty and clever and that’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Sitting down every week for four years has to have an effect on you. Practice may not lead to perfection but it will take you in the general direction. It’s the whole “fail better” scenario. Once writing a post that was a doozie would’ve been an achievement. Now I bet you rattled that off in half an hour. Doozies ain’t what they used to be. So we aim a little higher and dream about the next four years.

  2. Hey Jim. Half an hour is usually what I have to write my "doozies."

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