Friday, 7 December 2012

All pets want for Christmas

I haven't had a lot to say over the last few weeks as I've been busy highlighting new releases from the Alexandria Publishing Group. Today I'm participating in a really fun event - the All Pets Want for Christmas blog hop sponsored by the Indie Exchange, David Brown and Vickie Johnstone.

Important note - due to time differences, you may be seeing this a bit early. If it isn't yet December 8, make sure you come back here when it is.

Unfortunately, I don't actually have a pet, so I can't say exactly what it might want for Christmas. However, to make up for it, I thought I might ask my good friend, the Blerchherchh, to step out from the pages of Magnus Opum and tell us what it wants for Christmas.

So now I'll hand it over to the Blerchherchh. And then I think I'll run away very quickly...

Grrrr. It's the Blerchherchh here - if you couldn't already tell. Now what do I want for Christmas? So many things to chose from. So many tasty treats. Such a hard decision.

I've got it. I know what I want. Santa. Just imagine how good he would taste. All those delectable rolls of fat sliding down my throats and into my stomachs. My mouths are watering, just thinking about it.

What would I do with my present? How would I serve him? Maybe a big juicy Santa steak, with a spicy peppercorn gravy. Or perhaps sizzling Santa skewers, slowly grilled over hot coals. Or perhaps seared Santa in satay sauce. There's no end to the delightful ways I could serve Santa up - unless I run out of S words.

Of course, I wouldn't want to have Santa on his own. I think some delicate reindeer drumsticks would go down a treat as accompaniment. I think I'll batter them in my own secret spice recipe. Come to think of it, maybe I'll just batter them with my claws - that would be a lot more fun.

Now I'm really making myself hungry. I think I'll go out now and put up a chimney on top of my cave, just to make sure Santa doesn't miss me out.

Oh, and before I forget, if there are any carol singers in the vicinity of the dingy, dungy Drungledum Valley, please pay me a visit. I love carol singers. Especially lightly marinated in a white wine sauce, with radishes and garlic and just a little parsley as a garnish.

But before I come and eat you, make sure you check out the other posts in this blog hop below, then go to the main event page to enter into the prize draw for a $50 Amazon gift card - hey if I win, I'll eat that too. 


  1. Great post Jonathan. Thanks for taking part. There seems to be no end to Blerchherch's appetite. I trust after Santa and the carol singers that he'l still have room for the elves and reindeer!

  2. Please note that the incorrect linky was originally sent to bloggers taking part in the hop. My apologies for any inconvenience.

    I'll post this comment on those blogs that haven't been updated with the latest one.

    You can refer to the correct linky at the end of my post here:-

  3. I was gonna say ROFLMAO It is OK but man... Blerchherch would Break my bank!

  4. I love the book that the Blerch comes from! Merry Christmas Blerch as you sound like acid reflux!
    Thanks for joining in, and everyone, read this book! it's funny!

  5. Hilarious! And kind of creepy ... :-)

    Just hopping through, come check out what Bucky wants for Christmas

  6. Santa skewers. Yum. New follower on twitter. Please consider following me. Java With Jambor

  7. Thanks to all for leaving comments - apologies for my slackness in responding as I've been away. Just thought I should let you know, just in case you got worried that I was added to the Blerchherchh's menu.

  8. Oh boy oh boy oh boy! This is Laevatein (from, and I said I wanted to catch Santa for Christmas, too! That's so cool that we both want the same Santa!

    Wait a minute. I'm not sure I want to share.

    Anyway, I like to catch and then hold, and then release when Mom says, because then she lets me catch again, and that's the fun part. You should maybe try that, though I have to say that frying and battering and searing sound really, really tasty.

    I told Mom about your book that the Blerchherchh comes from, and she wants the laptop back to go look it up or something. Gotta go. Leave some Santa for me!

    1. Hi Laura,

      Thanks for your comment.

      I don't think sharing is a word in the Blerchherchh's vocab.

  9. Another great and fun post, Jonathan! I really enjoyed this hop!

    My best,