I'm not that deep

I love to read. I guess that, being a writer myself, this isn't something particularly surprising.

I'm constantly amazed at the breadth of narratives around. So many different writing styles. So many different ways to tell a story. But one thing that I really admire is the ability of writers to really dig down deep, to nail their characters in complex ways, and place them in intricate, multi-level stories.

I'm blown away with the way writers can get into their characters' heads. How they can develop lengthy interior monologues that capture so much about a character. How they can create plots that twist and turn in so many ways, beyond any reader's expectations. How they can create descriptions which make you feel like you're actually there, seeing things with your own eyes.

I'm in awe of these writers, and I'm also more than a little bit jealous. I just can't create stories like that. I can't create such complex interior worlds for my characters. I can't describe their exterior worlds in anywhere near the same detail. And there's a very good reason for that.

I'm just not that deep.

I can't do those interior monologues because I don't have them myself. My mind tends to skim over the surface, avoiding any attempts to dig down deeper. And I can't create those detailed descriptions because my eyes don't seem to register things in such a close-eyed way. They just flitter from one thing to another, getting the basic idea but not the specifics.

Is that a bad thing? Should I be upset with myself for my lack of depth? Should I make more of an effort to create more layers to myself?

I'm not sure. At this stage of my life, I figure I'm not going to change. I don't think I could ever write those "deep" sorts of stories. But maybe that's okay. Sure, there's nothing to stop me enjoying the craft that goes into creating them. But maybe there's room for my sorts of stories as well. For stories that flit around on the surface in (hopefully) surprising and amusing ways.

Who knows. Maybe readers will find their own depths in there. 

Who are you looking at? Probably not me

Have you ever tried to play spot the writer?

It's not too hard. Wherever you are, whether walking through a crowd or sitting in a restaurant or cafe, take a look around and see if you can figure out which of the people you see are writers. At least that's the easy part. The difficult part is, like me you'll probably have no idea whether you're right or not (unless you go up to people directly and ask, which may be a little on the awkward side).

That's the great thing about being a writer. How you look makes no difference at all. There are no dress requirements or uniforms. And there are also no particular requirements to look great, like there are for actors and models, or to have extraordinary physical prowess like athletes.

Anyone you see could be a writer. We come in all shapes and sizes. We also come in any kind of packaging. True, there may be cliches about the bohemian writer, sitting in a cool cafe and drinking coffee while mulling on their latest literary masterpiece. But I suspect there are far more writers who diverge from this stereotype than those who conform to it.

That's one of the really great things I like about writing. Just as there are an innumerable number of stories, so there are an innumerable number of authors, each with their own styles of writing as well as living.

And I also like that being a writer doesn't define me as a person. It's something that I do, and that I enjoy. But there's an awful lot more to me than that. Even though I would love to be successful, I'm always happy to fly under the radar. I'd hate to be the sort of person who has to fend off admirers at the local supermarket (admittedly a fairly unlikely possibility).

So whether you're playing the game of spot the author or just looking around and people watching in general, I have a feeling that the person you're looking at isn't me. 

I'm serious about being funny

I'm an extremely serious person.

You may not believe me. If you know me well, I'm sure you won't believe me.

Aren't I supposed to be a funny guy? Aren't I constantly reeling off jokes and zingers and puns and other kinds of randomly absurd observations about the vagaries of life in general and writing in particular.

All right, so maybe I do. But as far as I can tell, that's no reason to suggest that I'm not an extremely serious person.

There's a particular reason why I think I can support my claim that it's actually the fact that I am funny (well allegedly anyway) that makes me such a serious person. Here goes:

Being funny is hard work.

Don't believe me? Just try it some time. Go out there and make people laugh. It's not as easy as it sounds. Ok, I know there are some people out there who can just do it naturally. All they have to do is breathe and they can have everybody else falling over themselves in fits of laughter. But I'm not like that.

To people like me, being funny is a commitment. It's a goal that you set, and towards which you then need to work. It takes practice and dedication in order to achieve this goal at a regular level - to consistently say or write things with the requisite amount of hilarity.

And getting the amount right is a big part of it. Too little, and it will just seem anaemic. Too much and it will seem forced. It's a delicate balance, requiring hard work and skill and experience to get right. I'm not even sure I have.

So there you have it. Immutable evidence that I'm as serious as the next person, and more serious than many. I'm working hard, dedicating myself towards reaching a goal. The fact that it's a very silly goal does nothing to lessen the commitment required.

When it comes to being funny, I'm deadly serious.

 

J.K. Rowling, please say you wrote my book too

Have you been following the latest J.K. Rowling business?

How a book that was credited to a writer named Robert Galbraith (called I believe The Cuckoo's Calling)  turned out to have been written by J.K. Rowling.

What I find interesting is how all of a sudden, a book that wasn't setting the world on fire as far as sales went has suddenly become a global bestseller, just because it turned out to have been written by...well a global bestseller.

Now there's all sorts of discussions that could spin off this. We could talk about what it is that makes a book good or not. We could talk about the influence of the name of the writer on the perception of a book. We could talk about the criteria readers use to select the books they choose to buy (and the image of a farm animal covered in wool does come to mind). But I'm not. I've got something much more simple as the focus of this post.

This is a request to J.K. Rowling - please say that you wrote my book too.

Because if we're talking about books whose sales are not setting the world on fire, I reckon that's me in a nutshell. I suspect my book is doing exactly the opposite - what would you call it - setting the world on ice? But with the name of someone like the mighty J.K. associated with it, light the rockets and get ready for take-off.

Ok, so maybe there's the small issues of royalties, but I'm sure we could come to an arrangement on that. Maybe I could hand over some percentage. She doesn't seem to need much, so I'm sure it wouldn't be too onerous. I hear she's very into giving to charities, so that's something I'm more than happy to support.

There you have it. A sure fire way to rocket me - oops I mean her - into the bestseller lists again. So how about it, J.K? What have you got to lose? Wherever you are and whatever you're doing, why not say that you wrote my book too.

Please. 

Awesome Indies Grand Opening Party

Writing is awesome. Being an indie writer is awesome. And what is really awesome is that a group of writers called the Awesome Indies is having an awesome launch party over the next few days.

The Awesome Indies site is a place where you can find quality independent books (and maybe a few by me as well). To celebrate the opening of this site, they are holding a Grand Opening Party from August 21-25. There's a bunch of books reduced to just 99c (including some by me) as well as prizes and fun events to participate in.

Here's a list of some of the fun stuff happening:

1. On August 22 you can play "Who is the piano playing dog?" Watch an amazing video and vote on the best explanation for who the dog is and what he’s doing. 
2. On August 23, you can participate in a fun Awesome Indies quiz.
3. August 24 is meet the author day, when you can read stories of why authors chose to go indie.
4. On August 25 you can win a Kindle Paperwhite. There will also be a bunch of free books available.

So hopefully you'll come along and join in the fun.
 

Smile, say cheese, and watch the birdy

I really don't like being photographed.

Usually I manage to avoid it pretty easily. Hang around in the background. Don't make myself too obvious. That way, I can be sure the furious gaze of the camera won't be directed towards me.

But there are times when being photographed is unavoidable. Most of them tend to be family related moments when you just have to grin and bear it. But every so often, there's a specific requirement for a specific type of photograph.

I recently had one such situation. Due to my new arrangement with Evolved Publishing, I had to provide an author photo. Bad enough that I had to submit myself to the torture of getting photographed. But what made it even more difficult was the idea of creating an author photo.

What exactly does an author photo look like? What am I supposed to do that will specifically say to anyone viewing it "This person is an author"? I had no idea. I even tried to do some research, to look at other examples of author photos, but that wasn't much help. There were so many different types of authors, and I had no idea which one I was.

Some authors are serious. They write serious books, and so their photos are also suitably serious. But I don't see that as being me. And besides, when I try to look too serious I end up looking constipated.

Other authors are funny. They might do funny, whacky sorts of photos. Maybe this suits me better. After all, my books are at least intended to be funny. But I just can't bring myself to do whacky for the camera. It doesn't feel right.

In the end, I try to think of the best way I can categorise my stories. I think my stories are friendly. They're easy and fun to read and make you feel good (again hopefully). That's the sort of author picture I need. A friendly author picture.

So, after numerous attempts, I end up with a picture. I send it in. It's now up on the Evolved website - you can look at it if you want. Hopefully I look at least a little bit friendly. Hopefully, 9 months before my book is released, I'm not already scaring the punters away.

Lions and tigers and turtles, oh boy!

Let me just preface this post by saying the heading is just slightly inaccurate.

While the tigers and the turtles are totally relevant, I'm afraid that there won't actually be any references to lions. I'm sorry if anyone feels misled. I just wanted a third animal to round out the title and lion seemed to foot the bill. I'll try not to do it again.

Anyone, so given lions are off the menu, what is this about tigers and turtles? Well, it isn't exactly about tigers and turtles. It's more about Tiger-Turtles. And that is the real subject of the announcement I'm making today.

I am extremely pleased to announce that, thanks to the help of the fine people at Evolved Publishing, I will be publishing my first children's picture book in 2014. And the title of that book is, of course, Thomas and the Tiger-Turtle.

So what exactly is a Tiger-Turtle? I'm not telling. You'll have to wait and see when the book comes out, which should be in May next year.

This is a bit of an adventure for me. I'm excited, after self-publishing my novellas and novel, to be working with a publisher. I'm also excited to be moving into a different type of storytelling. While I still plan to keep working on more of my dag-lit type stories (I'm still hoping to have Neville #3 out before the end of this year), I really enjoy writing stories for children as well. And I'm especially looking forward to working with an illustrator to see the story take visual shape before my eyes.

So keep posted. I'll hopefully have more news as we move forward. Because I think it's time the world knew all about Tiger-Turtles.